Plain language exercise eleven takeaways

These are the sample of revised text for Plain Language Exercise 11: Evaluating sample text"

Sample revised text

Sample revised text as viewed on Hemingwayapp.com (click to expand):

Transcript of revised text

Key improvements

• Revised text passes all Hemingway App readability tests.
• Readability score is grade 5. That's better than our target! Can you make it even clearer without compromising the clarity of the message?
• The phrase “competition files” is government jargon. We have not changed it because our target audience is government hiring managers, and the meaning will be clear to them
• Word count is now 29, less than half of the original text.
• The effective date of the change has been moved to the end. That information is less important than the changed policy
• The reason for the change has been omitted as it is not likely important to the audience. Is there other information that could be left out?

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