Bullying

Cyberbullying is the use of phones, computers or other connected devices to embarrass, hurt, mock, threaten, or be mean to someone online.

It is a serious problem that affects everyone, but disproportionately impacts young people every day and it can have a negative impact on the self-esteem, relationships, and wellbeing of those involved. 

How common is cyberbullying?

• Reported data on cyberbullying can vary depending on the age of people surveyed and how cyberbullying is defined
• Even if children and youth aren’t being targeted by cyberbullying, chances are high that they have witnessed it since it often happens online and publicly

There are often other people who see bullying happen. In these situations, people can be bystanders, allies, or upstanders. 

• A bystander sees the conflict or unacceptable behavior but does not take part in it
• An ally is someone who responds to the bullying situation by supporting the person being bullied (checking in with them, being a friend to them, etc.)
• An upstander tries to stop the bullying behaviour by directly confronting the person who is doing the bullying or by telling a trusted adult

Stand tall and champion what is right - support each other! People who engage in bullying behaviour lose their power without an audience. You become part of the problem by watching bullying happen and not doing or saying anything about it. 

• Blocking the bully - Speaking up with a firm "back off" or "stop it" or by blocking all communication with them on all platforms
• Standing up for the victim
• Shifting focus away from the bullying - go for a walk or watch a funny (but appropriate) TikTok
• Rallying friends together to stop bullying
• Reporting it to trusted adults using the Report It tool

• Laughing, sharing, or capturing it
• Spreading bullying content on social media
• Visiting sites that target individuals
• Liking social media posts that are mean or harmful

Work together. Families, students, and school staff must work together to create an environment where everyone feels safe, accepted, and respected regardless of their gender, race, culture, religion, social condition, or sexual orientation. 

Stand up for yourself. Be assertive but not aggressive. Tell the person to stop bullying. Don't fight or plan any acts of revenge.

Be smart. Stick close to your friends and avoid being alone. Don’t delete messages, photos, texts, or emails; they can be used as evidence (but do block them from continuing).

Get help. Tell an adult what happened. Try to provide as many details as you can. They'll be able to offer support and get involved in a positive way. It's normal to feel scared, angry, or confused. You can ask for counselling or support with bullying.

• Get help and/or report it

• Cyberbullying - Canada.ca
• Cyberbullying for Youth - Canada.ca
• KidsHelpPhone.ca
• Report It tool
• Strategies for Fighting Cyberbullying | MediaSmarts

Not all rude or mean behavior or interpersonal conflict is bullying. Knowing the difference is key to being able to support and resolve the situation effectively.

Mean behaviour aims to hurt someone. Children and youth may act mean by criticizing things about another person. Usually, mean things are said impulsively and may be regretted later. 

This kind of behaviour usually involves emotions like anger, annoyance, or envy.

Being mean can sound like:

• "Are you seriously wearing that sweater again? Didn’t you just wear it, like, last week?"
• "Get a life."
• "You’re so fat/ugly/stupid."
• "I hate you!"

Mean behaviour is hurtful. It should not happen, and it should be discouraged and stopped.

Conflict is a disagreement or difference between peers who have equal power and is an inevitable part of a group dynamic.

Here’s an example of conflict: Two people on the basketball team are arguing with each other about losing a game. One of them blames the other for letting the opposing team knock the ball out of their hands before they could throw it. The other one is saying it is their teammate’s fault because they didn’t pass the ball during the last few seconds of the game. They continue to fight until their coach gets involved and tells them to stop arguing.

In this scenario, both peers have equal power and are disagreeing over the outcome of a game. Neither has been threatened or harmed, and neither is showing signs of humiliation or distress.

It could be considered bullying if one of them continued an intentional campaign of blame against the other to hurt their feelings or alienate them from their friends. This could include several actions over the course of a few days or weeks – doing things like calling names, taunting them outside of the gym, or even getting others to gang up on them.

A normal part of child development includes occasionally being mean or rude. Children can do unkind things to others, and have no intention to hurt them, and also not get pleasure from hurting them. This is because, especially during preschool and early elementary years, children have limited ability to manage their behaviours. They may use negative actions as part of testing boundaries and figuring out their place.

For example, a young child might shove another child because they feel frustrated, or they don’t know how to ask to play. 

Some degree of socially imperfect behaviour is normal - not everything needs an adult response. You may want to use these moments as an opportunity to teach how to communicate or how to express feelings of anger or anxiety acceptably.

When bad behaviour happens, if the child on the receiving end is only upset for a little while and then seems fine, it’s probably not bullying. If that child becomes withdrawn, doesn’t want to go to school, or is worried about why the other child does not like them, you should investigate to see if something more serious is happening.

Bullying is a consistent pattern of unwelcome or aggressive behaviour. It causes physical and/or emotional harm to others. To identify a bullying incident, three key indicators are typically present:

• Power: Bullying involves real or perceived power imbalance. Individuals who engage in bullying behaviour often gain power through physical size, strength, and/or status within the peer group. They also gain power by garnering support from others
• Frequency: Bullying behaviour is not random or a one-time action. It is repetitive. It can instill fear in the victim and lead to long-term negative effects
• Intent to harm: Individuals who engage in bullying behaviour typically aim to cause physical or emotional harm to their target

Individuals who exhibit bullying behaviour deliberately say or do hurtful things to others without remorse. They continue even when their actions are known to cause harm or when asked to stop.

• Cyberbullying
• Physical
• Social and emotional (or relational)
• Verbal

If your child is being bullied, here are some tips for talking to them about bullying:

• Use open-ended questions to start the conversation
• Listen attentively and document details
• Reassure them and summarize their feelings
• Provide guidance on handling bullying and seeking help
• Role-play confident responses
• Encourage making new friends and avoiding those engaging in bullying behaviour
• Emphasize non-violent conflict resolution

If you suspect or have been informed that your child is displaying bullying behavior, it is crucial to handle the situation calmly and openly. Use the following tips to guide your conversation: 

• Clearly communicate that bullying is hurtful and the need to stop the bullying behaviour
• Regularly ask your children how they are doing and what’s going on with them – ask about their friends and activities
• Identify triggers
• Use open-ended questions to encourage sharing
• Summarize events and guide them to take responsibility
• Enforce appropriate consequences

Partner with the school to address instances of bullying behaviour and provide support to the child or youth affected.  Schools are well-equipped to offer support through:  

• Implementation of codes of conduct and policies that tackle bullying and inappropriate conduct
• Availability of trained staff members to handle bullying situations with knowledge of available resources

Get acquainted with school district policies and procedures, including escalation steps. Obtain the code of conduct from the school's website. Schedule a meeting with your child's teacher, principal, or counsellor to discuss the situation and inquire about their approach to handling bullying behaviour. Ask about their plans and timelines for addressing the situation. 

The school should investigate incidents, inform families (while following privacy legislation), and take appropriate measures. Families should stay engaged, request updates, and escalate concerns if needed to school district personnel (e.g., safe school coordinator, superintendent) for further action. 

If you as a parent, caregiver or guardian are unable to resolve your concerns after speaking with school and district staff, you may have the right to make an appeal to the district board of education. Additional information on the appeals process can be found on the student disputes and appeals page.

If you have concerns about procedural fairness in how district staff have addressed your concerns, you may request a review of the decision with the Office of the Ombudsperson. If you think a crime has been committed, we encourage you to contact your local police authority for assistance. 

• erase Family Sessions (saferschoolstogether.com)
• Help protect your child from cyberbullying - Canada.ca
• Resources for Parents - Cyberbullying | MediaSmarts

Students may disclose bullying to their teachers or other school staff, or staff might witness bullying behaviours. Address bullying in alignment with your district’s codes of conduct, policies, and procedures and general safety process.

• Be aware of your students’ mental health and/or emotional state
  • Mental health consists of different states that we can experience separately or simultaneously:
    • no mental distress, problem or disorder is feeling at ease, balanced, adapting to challenges, and enjoying our daily lives
    • mental distress is the common, short-term response to the stresses of everyday life
    • a mental health problem is when one’s ability to adapt is challenged by a serious environmental stressor; counselling and other support may be needed
    • a mental disorder is diagnosed according to internationally accepted criteria; it requires evidence-based treatment from a health professional
• Pay attention to what’s happening to students socially, at lunchtime, in the hallways, or in other areas of the school campus. Has their friend group changed? Do you sense a conflict between students? Are you overhearing anything concerning? 

• Bullying is something to take seriously. School or school district policies should determine what actions you take if bullying or cyberbullying has occurred
• For mean behaviour that is not bullying, keep in mind that, depending on their ages, children and youth are still developing skills like empathy, self-regulation, and how to communicate respectfully, including online. These situations can be learning opportunities for everyone involved

As educators, it is our responsibility to teach students how to use digital media in respectful and safe ways. This includes helping kids learn how to identify, respond to, and avoid cyberbullying. Given the daily demands on teachers, it can be a challenge to figure out how to fit these lessons into the school day. Here are a few ways to approach cyberbullying prevention in the classroom:

• Promote a positive and safe classroom culture. Whether or not you have technology in the classroom, setting norms of respectful communication sends a message to your students about what is and isn’t acceptable. Find ways to demonstrate that your classroom is a safe, emotionally caring environment. Provide resources in the classroom to help students identify, respond to, and avoid cyberbullying, for example: 
  • elementary school (PDF, 60.7KB)
  • middle and high school (PDF, 51.3KB)
• Embrace teachable digital moments. Take advantage of a teachable moment related to cyberbullying or respectful online communication. Encourage students to pay attention to and identify “red flag” moments (when something happens on digital media that makes them feel uncomfortable, worried, sad, or anxious). 
• Incorporate lessons on cyberbullying into your existing curriculum. Find connections to the content you’re already teaching and make time to address cyberbullying directly.
• Register your class for a digital literacy training session. Through Erase and Safer Schools Together, students have access to resources for establishing Safe, Caring, and Respectful Digital Communities. This one-hour online session covers all things digital, from being a good digital citizen to the criminal consequences of cyberbullying.

• Cyberbullying Posters | MediaSmarts
• erase Training Sessions (saferschoolstogether.com)
• Help protect your child from cyberbullying - Canada.ca
• Racist Incident Helpline (resource for people subjected to discrimination) 
• Resources for Teachers - Cyberbullying | MediaSmarts