Consent

​How to get consent

• Be direct with your partner by naming and describing the act clearly, for example “Can I kiss you?” 
• Ask your partner what they prefer
• Ask open-ended questions as a way of starting an ongoing dialogue about what you each want and give your partner a chance to respond

Silence does not mean consent. Always get a clear and enthusiastic "yes" before proceeding. Consent requires ongoing communication, trust, and the freedom to say "yes" or "no" without doubt. It's crucial to ask for and receive consent at every stage of sexual interaction, ensuring that it is voluntary every time and involves mutual understanding.

Remember that consent:

• Can be withdrawn
• Is affected by drugs/alcohol
• Is required for sharing sexual photos

• You are asked repeatedly until you give someone the answer they want to hear
• Someone uses their power or authority to manipulate your answer
• You are under the influence of substances

Consent is 

Consent is not 

Sexualized violence is any act of a sexual nature that occurs without consent. It includes any sexual act or act that targets someone’s sexuality, gender identity, or gender expression. Sexualized violence can range from unwanted sexual comments to sexual assault.

• Sexualized violence can be physical or psychological
• It can be threatened, attempted, or committed
• It can be an ongoing situation or a one-time event
• It can be something that happens in-person or online
• It can happen between strangers, between students or co-workers, or between people in a relationship

Sexual assault is any sexual contact that happens without the consent of both people. It can range from unwanted sexual touching to forced sexual intercourse. It can occur anywhere—in a home, at a community facility like a recreational centre, or in a public place. It can occur even when people know each other or are married or dating. 

If you are or have been in any of the following situations, you may be or have been a victim of sexual assault:

• Your words or actions indicated that you did not want to have or continue sexual contact, but the sexual contact continued
• You agreed to sexual contact because someone threatened or used force on you
• You were not able to give consent to sexual contact (for example, you were under the age of 12, you were drugged or impaired, or have a disability that impacts your ability to provide consent)
• Someone persuaded you to have sexual contact by using their position of authority or power

Sexual assault can be committed by strangers but, most often, it is committed by someone the victim knows, such as a family member, partner, acquaintance, or someone in a position of trust or authority.

Sexual harassment refers to unwanted or unwelcome behaviour of a sexual nature. Sexual harassment can occur in person or online. Sexual harassment may include, but is not limited to:

• Requests for sexual favours
• Unwanted or unwelcome physical contact
• Unwelcome sexual flirtations, advances, or propositions
• Sexually suggestive, obscene, or degrading comments or gestures
• Offensive jokes or remarks of a sexual nature
• Leering, staring, or catcalling
• Stalking or cyber-stalking
• Sharing live streams, videos, or images of sexual assault
• Displaying, circulating, or sharing pictures or other materials of a sexual nature
• Unwelcome questions or remarks about a person’s sex life, gender appearance, clothing, and/or sexual orientation
• Expressed or implied promise of reward in return for complying with a sexual request

Sexual harassment may interfere with your ability to participate in employment, school, or daily life; it may create an intimidating, humiliating or hostile environment.

Sexual exploitation is any actual or attempted abuse of a position of vulnerability, differential power, or trust for sexual purposes, including profiting monetarily, socially, or politically from the sexual exploitation of another.

Despite 16 being the legal age when a person can consent to sexual activity, a 16- or 17-year-old cannot consent if: 

• Their sexual partner is in a position of trust or authority towards them, for example, their teacher or coach
• The young person is dependent on their sexual partner, for example, for care or support
• The relationship between the young person and their sexual partner is exploitative

The following factors may be taken into account when determining whether a relationship is exploitative of the young person:

• The young person's age
• The age difference between the young person and their partner
• How the relationship developed (for example, quickly, secretly, or over the internet)
• Whether the partner may have controlled or influenced the young person

If you or someone you know has experienced or is experiencing sexualized violence, here are some things you can do: 

Talk to a trusted adult (e.g., parent, teacher, school counsellor). If you want someone at school to know, one option is to use the erase Report It tool to report it (anonymously) to your school safety team.

If you are scared or in immediate danger, call 911 or your local police.

If you want to report sexualized violence as a potential crime or report:

• Make a report to police. When speaking with police, you can bring an advocate with you, such as a trusted adult, or counsellor
• If you are a victim of a sexual offence in British Columbia and are 19 or older, you may be able to report the crime through a third party so you remain anonymous to the police
• Sex discrimination and sexual harassment can be reported to the BC Human Rights Commissioner. Find more information from Human Rights in British Columbia: Sex Discrimination and Sexual Harassment (PDF, 80.7KB)

• Foundry BC – Sexual Safety
  • Browse additional resources on sexual activity, violence, and consent
• Home - Take Back Your Images (gov.bc.ca)
  • If an intimate image of you was shared without your consent, or someone has threatened to share it, there are ways to take action
• Kids Help Phone
  • Explore this confidential, anonymous and free resource for teens looking to get help
• Teen Digital Dating Violence Toolkit (BC Society of Transition Houses)
  • Use this toolkit to learn more about teen digital dating violence
• VictimLinkBC 
  • Get support for if you’ve been a victim of sexual violence
• Youth Against Violence Line
  • If you're in any way concerned about your safety or the safety of others, call this 24/7 hotline
• Youth in BC 24-hour Crisis Response Online Chat and Phone Lines
  • Access a confidential online chat or 24/7 crisis hotline for suicide prevention and emotional support

The age of consent is the age at which a young person can legally agree to engage in sexual activity. Age of consent laws apply to all forms of sexual activity. This includes everything from kissing and touching to sexual intercourse. All sexual activity without consent is a criminal offence, regardless of age.

A 14- or 15-year-old can consent to sexual activity under specific circumstances. Their partner must be less than five years older. Their partner should not be in a position of authority or dependency, or exploiting the young person. This means that if the partner is five or more years older than the 14- or 15-year-old, any sexual activity is a criminal offense. 

There is a "close in age" exception for 12- and 13-year-olds. A 12- or 13-year-old can consent to sexual activity with a partner who is less than two years older and not in a position of authority or dependency, or who is exploiting the young person. This means that if the partner is two or more years older than the 12- or 13-year-old, any sexual activity is a criminal offence. Those under age 12 cannot consent to sexual activity.   

More information is available from the Department of Justice.

Sexualized violence is any act of a sexual nature that occurs without consent. It includes any sexual act or act that targets someone’s sexuality, gender identity, or gender expression. Sexualized violence can range from unwanted sexual comments to sexual assault.

• Sexualized violence can be physical or psychological
• It can be threatened, attempted, or committed
• It can be an ongoing situation or a one-time event
• It can be something that happens in-person or online
• It can happen between strangers, between students or co-workers, or between people in a relationship

Sexual assault is any sexual contact that happens without the consent of both people. It can range from unwanted sexual touching to forced sexual intercourse. It can occur anywhere—in a home, at a community facility like a recreational centre, or in a public place. It can occur even when people know each other or are married or dating. 

If your child has been in any of the following situations, they may have been a victim of sexual assault:

• Their words or actions indicated that they did not want to have or continue sexual contact, but the sexual contact continued
• They submitted to sexual contact because someone threatened or used force on them
• They were not able to give consent to sexual contact (for example, they were under the age of 12, they were drugged, impaired or have a disability that impacts their ability to provide consent)
• Someone persuaded them to have sexual contact by using their position of authority or power

Sexual assault can be committed by strangers but, most often, it is committed by someone the victim knows, such as a family member, partner, acquaintance, or someone in a position of trust or authority.

Sexual harassment refers to unwanted or unwelcome behaviour of a sexual nature. Sexual harassment can occur in person or online. Sexual harassment may include, but is not limited to:

• Requests for sexual favours
• Unwanted or unwelcome physical contact
• Unwelcome sexual flirtations, advances, or propositions
• Sexually suggestive, obscene, or degrading comments or gestures
• Offensive jokes or remarks of a sexual nature
• Leering, staring, or catcalling
• Stalking or cyber-stalking
• Sharing live streams, videos, or images of sexual assault
• Displaying, circulating, or sharing pictures or other materials of a sexual nature
• Unwelcome questions or remarks about a person’s sex life, gender appearance, clothing, and/or sexual orientation
• Expressed or implied promise of reward in return for complying with a sexual request

Sexual harassment may interfere with a person’s ability to participate in employment, school, or daily life; it may create an intimidating, humiliating or hostile environment.

Sexual exploitation is any actual or attempted abuse of a position of vulnerability, differential power, or trust for sexual purposes, including profiting monetarily, socially, or politically from the sexual exploitation of another.

Despite 16 being the legal age when a person can consent to sexual activity, a 16- or 17-year-old cannot consent if: 

• Their sexual partner is in a position of trust or authority towards them, for example, their teacher or coach
• The young person is dependent on their sexual partner, for example, for care or support
• The relationship between the young person and their sexual partner is exploitative

The following factors may be taken into account when determining whether a relationship is exploitative of the young person:

• The young person's age
• The age difference between the young person and their partner
• How the relationship developed (for example, quickly, secretly, or over the internet)
• Whether the partner may have controlled or influenced the young person

• Exploitation Education Institute
  • Learn more about preventing sexual exploitation and human trafficking
• Foundry BC – Sexual Safety
  • Find additional resources on sexual activity, violence, and consent
• VictimLinkBC 
  • Get support for victims of sexual violence

A consent-based approach for teaching gender-based violence prevention is rooted in teaching students about healthy relationships. When students understand what consent is and learn to view situations through the lens of consent, they learn that it is possible to have healthy relationships with others where everyone is respected.

Teaching students about the skills of consent provides them with the skills to leave uncomfortable situations, to respect others that want to do the same, and to help prevent sexual coercion, harassment, and assault.

Provide a safe, inclusive classroom environment. When discussing sexualized violence, it is crucial that all individuals feel safe, and students should understand that all individuals deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. 

Create space for uncomfortable conversations. Acknowledge that some students may feel uncomfortable talking about sexualized violence and that it is okay to feel that way. These are opportunities for students to develop their social-emotional learning skills. 

Help students understand the ways they can take action in real-life situations (e.g., how to safely intervene in situations) and they are in control of their own choices and actions. 

Give students the chance to reflect on their own attitudes, biases and values in ways that lead to deep, meaningful conversations and changing attitudes about sexualized violence. 

Conversations about sexualized violence affect each person differently. Let students know what supports are available and how to access them.

If possible, team up with guidance counsellors, social workers, and mental health support professionals to provide students with additional knowledge and support to discuss personal matters if they want to.

• Be More Than a Bystander
  • Explore tools, language, and practical ideas to speak up and communicate that violence and abuse are not acceptable
• erase Student Sessions (saferschoolstogether.com)
• Gender-Based Violence Prevention Education Resources | Ophea.net
• Gender-Based Violence Teaching Network
• Kindergarten to Grade 12 Supporting Student Health Resource Guides: 
  • Elementary (PDF, 2.2MB)
  • Secondary (PDF, 2.3MB) 
• Learning modules for youth - Canada.ca
• Supporting Student Health Curriculum
  • Curriculum and guides to support educating students to develop a personalized understanding of what consent and healthy living means