Have a conversation

If a child or youth is being bullied, here are some tips for talking to them about bullying: 

• Use open-ended questions to start the conversation
• Listen attentively and document details
• Reassure them and summarize their feelings
• Provide guidance on handling bullying and seeking help
• Role-play confident responses
• Encourage making new friends and avoid those engaging in bullying behaviour
• Emphasize non-violent conflict resolution

For younger children

• Help children and youth understand that their bodies are their own and that they have the right to make decisions about them, including letting them decide if they want a hug or kiss from family or friends
• Encourage children to pay attention to other people’s body language. It will help them see other people’s cues about personal boundaries
• Practice with children what they can say and do if they feel uncomfortable in a situation
• Encourage children to speak up if something doesn’t feel right
• Encourage children to ask for permission
• Teach children to respect ‘no’ messages

For older children

• Talk about personal values, sexuality, and boundaries
• Explain sexual consent, coercion, harassment, manipulation, exploitation, and sexual assault
• Let them know they have a voice, and you’ll always listen to them

Talk with children and youth about mental health. Help them identify their internal and external strengths. Listen and respond with empathy. Don't judge—young people need to feel respected and see that you're taking their needs seriously.

• Guidelines for parents/guardians to support children through times of grief during and after a traumatic event (PDF, 62.7KB)
• School Mental Health Ontario: The 6Rs Framework (PDF, 237KB)

Educate yourself. Learn about mental health and the influences young people might be responding to. Focus on understanding what the young person is experiencing and coping skills rather than looking for a label for what the young person is experiencing. Be prepared to provide answers in a way that's easy to understand. If you don’t know the answer, offer to find it together.

Be an advocate. Support young people to do as much for themselves as possible – help them build connections, access services, and create their own network of support. When necessary, speak up on their behalf.

Ask for help. Don't try to deal with things on your own. Reach out to a crisis centre, counsellor or doctor for support. Get help or show them where they can get help for themselves.

Adults can make a big difference in teaching children and youth about diversity. Here's how:

• Share stories. Read books together that reflect cultural diversity and how being kind and open is important
• Talk openly. Have discussions about racism and keep them open. Let children and youth ask questions and talk about their experiences at school or in the community. It's important to listen and help them understand the world around them

Talk with children and youth about screen time and digital media. The key is to pay attention, get involved, and model positive habits.

Have the conversation. Start the conversation with your child about social media so you can learn how they use it and how they feel when they use it. You can also help them understand the difference between safe and unsafe interactions on social media.

Involve everyone in your house to create a family media plan together that includes goals, guidelines, and rules about the use of technology in your household.

Learn more. Technology is all around us. Learn about screen time and digital media use and the effect it has on all of us, and share what you learn with your child. Be ready to answer your child’s questions in a way that is easy to understand. If you don’t know the answer, offer to find out together.

• Digital literacy trainings (Safer Schools Together) for both students and families
• Keeping Tech in Check (Kelty Mental Health)
• Screen time and digital media: Advice for parents of school-aged children and teens (Caring for Kids)

Establish tech-free zones. Creating tech-free zones helps support healthy behaviours such as getting enough sleep, being more physically active, and having more time for in-person interactions.

Here are some examples of how you can create tech-free zones:

• No screens in family bedrooms
• Turn off TVs that you aren’t watching
• Recharge devices overnight in a common space
• No technology during mealtimes

If you want to learn more about creating family tech plans and tech-free zones, visit Kelty Mental Health.

Personal digital device (cell phone) use in schools.

To help support more focused learning at school, each school district in B.C. has included restrictions on student cell phone use in its codes of conduct. To learn more about the personal digital device restrictions in schools, visit the cell phone restrictions in schools page.

If you want to learn more about what is happening at your student’s school, you can reach out directly to your district or school to find out about their policies.

Talk with young people about self-harm and suicide. The best way to find out if a young person is hurting themself or having suicidal thoughts is to ask them directly. Asking directly lets the young person know that they can talk to you about self-harm and suicide and that you care about their mental health and well-being. 

When talking to a young person about self-harm and suicide be a sensitive and respectful listener. Don’t judge – rather acknowledge and validate the young person’s thoughts or feelings and demonstrate that you are taking the situation seriously. Sit with them in the discomfort, do not rush to problem solving as they may not be ready. 

Importantly, these conversations do not harm young people or make them more likely to think about suicide or self-harm. Young people can benefit from these conversations and show reduced depressive, self-harming, and suicidal thoughts after caring conversations. 

Ask for help. Don’t try to deal with things on your own. Reach out to a crisis centre, child and youth mental health services, or one of the support numbers below.

In an emergency, call 9-1-1 or go to your local emergency medical center. 

• Call or text 9-8-8 for the National Suicide Crisis Helpline. Available in English and French
• Call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) for the Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention Centre of BC. Available in up to 140 languages
• Call 1-800-588-8717 for the BC KUU-US Indigenous Crisis and Support Line
• Call 310-6789 for 310 Mental Health Support. No area code needed
• Visit Help Starts Here- Suicide Prevention to find additional information and where to seek help

Educate yourself. Learn about how to identify and respond to youth experiencing suicidal and self-harm behaviours. Watch these informational videos on suicide prevention and self-harm, created by experts and individuals with lived experiences. Read Tips for Talking to Your Youth About Suicide for additional ideas on how to navigate conversations about suicide with young people.

Learn more about Life Promotion, which is strength-based and holistic approach to addressing thoughts of suicide and promoting well-being.  

Be an advocate. Support young people to do as much for themselves as possible – help them build connections, access services, and create their own network of support. When necessary, speak up on their behalf.

Talk with young people about using substances. Be a sensitive and respectful listener. Talk openly and honestly about the effects of substances. Ask questions about what kids are hearing, seeing or have learned. Talk about why people use substances and the potential consequences. Create an open and judgment-free environment where it's safe to ask questions. Look for natural opportunities to discuss the topic. 

Educate yourself. Learn about commonly used substances. Find out how they work, their street names, and the signs of being under the influence. Be prepared to provide answers in a way that's easy to understand. If you don’t know the answer, offer to find out together.

Stick to the facts. Explain how lethal fentanyl can be and that it's impossible to know which drugs contain it without using drug-checking services. Use information from reliable sources and avoid scare tactics and exaggerations. Make heartfelt expressions of concern for safety, health and wellness. 

Be an advocate. Help young people do as much for themselves as possible—help them build connections, access services, and create their own network of support. When necessary, speak up on their behalf. 

Model. Show children how to treat people in respectful ways by being non-judgmental, non-discriminatory and respectful to others. Children often watch and copy the behaviour of adults in their lives.  

Ask for help. Don't try to deal with things on your own. Reach out to a crisis centre, counsellor or doctor for support. Get help or show them where they can get help for themselves.

Adults, reach out to the school to address your concerns and support the child or youth affected. Schools are well-equipped to offer support through:  

• Implementation of codes of conduct and policies that tackle inappropriate conduct
• Availability of trained staff members with knowledge of available resources

Get acquainted with school district policies and procedures, including escalation steps. Obtain the code of conduct from the school's website. Schedule a meeting with your child's teacher, principal, or counsellor to discuss the situation and inquire about their approach to handling the issue. Ask about plans and timelines for addressing the situation and how you can support. 

The school should investigate incidents, inform families (while following privacy legislation), and take appropriate measures. Families should stay engaged, request updates, and escalate concerns if needed to school district personnel (e.g., safe school coordinator, superintendent) for further action. 

If you as a parent, caregiver or guardian are unable to resolve your concerns after speaking with school and district staff, you may have the right to make an appeal to the district board of education. Additional information on the appeals process can be found on the student disputes and appeals page. 

If you have concerns about procedural fairness in how district staff have addressed your concerns, you may request a review of the decision with the Office of the Ombudsperson. If you think a crime has been committed, we encourage you to contact your local police authority for assistance.