Plain Language Exercise 3 - Sample Page #1

The Ultimate Doohickey

Product #10101

Made up orange "doohickey"

Features

  • Orange colour
  • Large hidden inner chamber for storage of keepsakes
  • Comes with cloth carrying case with handle (not pictured)
  • Constructed of durable reinforced plastic
  • Designed to improve with age
  • Imported

 

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Description

Doohickeys have been prized by young and old alike since the dawn of time. Some hold mysteries greater than you might ever imagine and some have never been seen by human eyes.

This copy of the greatest doohickey ever made can be yours.

Accelerated Aging

Antiques cost more for a reason. Aging will improve this item, but we are unable to pre-age our doohickeys while offering them at this affordable price.

To speed up the aging process, we recommend the following procedure:

Day 1: Enjoy your doohickey in its brand new state.

Day 2:

  1. Drop it repeatedly down a flight of stairs
  2. Dunk it in a cold water bath
  3. Let it dry

Twice a week for the next 7 weeks: repeat the steps you took on Day 2.

Care Instructions

Approved Cleaning Products

  • plain water only

Cleaning Products to Avoid

  • soap
  • spray cleaner
  • vinegar
  • laundry detergent
  • baking soda

This doohickey can handle whatever stresses you subject it to - its character will improve with heavy use.

History

The original was a stone relic taken from an ancient tomb, worn, crumbling, and barely discernible from its encasing cobwebs. It has now been rebuilt and a manufacturing process developed using cutting-edge technologies and lots of lasers.