Plain Language Exercise Eleven Takeaways
Sample revised text as viewed on Hemingwayapp.com (click to expand):
Transcript of revised text:
Notice the following:
- The new text passes all of the Hemingway App's tests
- The readability score has dropped to grade 5 – a little higher than our aim, but this may be acceptable for the target audience. Can you do better without compromising the clarity of the message?
- The phrase “competition files” is contributing to the grade 5 score – it is government jargon. In this case, the jargon may, in fact, help the target audience (government hiring managers) to understand the policy
- The word count has dropped to 29 – less than half of the original text!
- The effective date of the change has been moved to the end as that information is less important than the changed policy itself
- The reason for the change has been omitted as it is not likely important to the audience. Is there other information that could be left out?